Acknowledgement And Gratitude

For the past two days, I've been reminded twice to remember how far I've come in my journey.  And the nutritionist I spoke with yesterday  morning commented on how I changed my life.  That felt great.  It helped me remember the vow I made to myself when I started this journey: I will not gain the weight back and I will do everything within my power to make sure that doesn't happen.  

I think I've mentioned the wonderful blog, Refuse to Regain.  If not, it's a fantastic blog and resource for people who have lost weight and for people who are losing weight.  Yesterday's post, Now vs Then, the author looked at the quality of her life prior to losing weight vs now. It made me think about the same thing.    

Some of the changes are obvious:  Clothing options are far greater now than they were then.   I can walk for miles now vs about 10 minutes at a time then.  You can see the dimple in my cheek when I smile now. Then you could barely see my eyes.  

Other changes are not so obvious:  I feel infinitely better now.  I have the energy to move and must move.  Then, moving meant shifting my lounging position on the sofa as I watched another television program.   Now, I don't know what's on TV.  Then, I had the schedule memorized.   Now, I have the confidence to state my opinion to my boss. Then, I kept my mouth shut and stayed resentful.  The result is that I'm now much more successful in my career.

But the most important change is how I feel about myself.  While I have moments where I wallow in self-pity and doubt (like last week),  for the most part, I really like myself.  I like the person who has emerged from the blanket of fat.  Then, I lived in a cesspool of self-pity.  I could not acknowledge anything positive about myself.   I've come to realize that it's better to be a little bit vain and risk getting called down on it by my mother than it is to be so paralyzed by despair and fear of failure that I stagnate.

And while, yes - I am the one who ultimately changed her life to lose the weight and keep it off, I couldn't have done it without the support of others:  my wonderful partner who has been there every step of the way, my family and friends, all the great people on MyFoodDiary, my doctor and other healthcare professionals who constantly remind me to acknowledge what I've done.   Thank you.