Realizations

It's hit me recently that I am not:

• a binge eater
• as much of an emotional eater as I have thought
• a mindful eater

I am instead:

• Someone who likes to eat, but rarely allows herself to enjoy it
• Someone who knows way too much about food, diets, and nutrition
• Someone who is rebelling against a lifetime of being at war with herself and food

I'm tired of the books.  The numbers.  The tracking of behavior.  Optifast worked because I didn't have to do any of that stuff.  Optifast worked because there were no decisions (other than chocolate, vanilla, strawberry or chicken soup flavored cardboard shakes).

I'm tired of the constant diet discussion - the one that's on autopilot in my head and all the ones I seek out on the Internet, ones I have with friends, and ones I overhear.

This past year, I put myself on a news diet - there is pretty much nothing in the news I really need to know (in depth) and the constant exposure to doom and gloom was getting to me.

I wonder if I should put myself on a "diet" diet.  Minimize all exposure to what everyone else is doing - unless what they are doing engenders peace within myself.  

Hmmm - I'm thinking some 'reading' time freed up.  Some journaling time freed up.  More knitting time.  More energy to make myself healthy food.  More energy to take my walks.*  More energy for life.

I think I'm gonna do it.  I'll check back in here from time to time.  But all diet related blogs are about to be deleted from my iPad's reading list.  My membership to MFD - about to be put on hiatus.  

That's it for now.  No grandiose plan announcements - other than what I'm NOT going to be doing. :)

* July sucked for walking.  I'm slowly getting back to it - I had to move my walk time to the afternoon, though.  My boss needs me in the office earlier. Sigh.