Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Punitive Behaviors

I love it when I have one of those lightbulb moments and I had one this morning.  My eating plans from last month (not well followed) were rather punitive.  I was punishing myself for gaining weight.  I crossed the line from being honest with myself to being hateful.  Very hateful, actually.

Anyone who who's read this blog from the beginning knows that I think being honest with oneself is one of the most important weight management tools we can put in our toolbox.  If you are in denial that eating an entire package of Fig Newmans will not facilitate weight loss, then well - there won't be any weight loss.

However, it is easy to take that honesty and turn it into a form of punishment.  And looking back at the last year, I see that most of my weight management efforts were some form of punishment.

This came about by thinking that not only was I a failure, but also a fraud, putting myself out there as a someone knowledgeable about what it takes to successfully manage  one's weight.  I wasn't living up to my words and I saw that as a character flaw that  needed to be punished:  painfully restrictive food plans, & painfully grueling workouts.

The result was my 'wild child' stamping her foot and becoming incredibly petulant about the entire process.  And each time my 'wild child' stamped her foot and led me down a much more instantly rewarding path, I gained weight and the 'dictator' (gotta love Martha Beck) came up with even more punishing plans.  All I did was set myself up for failure.  There was no way to succeed and I became paralyzed.

So, this year  I will endeavor to be kind to myself when I need to get back on the right path:   Reasonable, workable food & exercise plans.  Time for fun.  Time for physical activity. Time for restoration.

1 comment:

  1. Why are we always harder on ourselves, than we would ever be on ANYONE else?

    Good insight. Knowledge is more than half the battle.


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