One of the reasons I have somewhat curtailed blogging is that I felt very much like a hypocrite. Here I was talking about weight management like I knew what I was doing - all the while slipping deeper into despair and denial about my own weight gain.
Another reason is I felt a bit exposed after I finally quit trying to rationalize away the constant upward creep of the number on the scales. "I have gained weight and now the whole world knows I'm a failure at weight management." My identity was wrapped up in being successful at weight management and the number on the scale showed my identity was fraudulent.
That's my mind at work. Scary isn't, it? And it's probably one of the reasons I gained up to 250 lbs at one point in my obese life. It's all or none with me. Nothing less than perfect counts. This is is definitely deconstructive criticism at it's worse - the source is me and the result is tearing myself down.
I don't have to be perfect and writing about not being perfect here is probably the best medicine I can give myself.