Today, I was working on a task from Julia Cameron's The Writing Diet and the words Eater's Remorse popped in my head. And this is the result:
I’ve experienced this so very often this past year because I ate without thinking, or sometimes willfully ignoring the little voice that said choose something else. The without thinking part is the part I want to work on. Remember the commercial “I could’ve had a V8”? Well, too many times I’ve eaten something I didn’t really need or want just because I wanted to eat. And afterwards I’d remember “Dammit – I could have gone for a walk, or had a cup of tea or anything else other than that cookie.” I experienced Eater’s Remorse and while it usually feels worse than whatever I was trying to medicate with food, right now it doesn’t seem to feel worse enough for me to remember to do something else.
Right now, the substitute behavior is writing. I like that behavior – I enjoy doing it. And when things aren’t too busy at work, I can write to my hearts content. But when they get busy, I tend to forget to take a few minutes to type out what I’m thinking/feeling about food. Until AFTER I’ve had one (or two) of the leftover brownies or cookies from Jason’s Deli.
I don’t know what the answer to this is, but to keep trying. The more I try and the more successes I do have- then that’s progress.
For now my mantra is going to be “I choose to avoid Eater’s Remorse”