Friday, May 28, 2010

I want to feel vibrant

So I woke up this morning and decided to NOT weigh-in. I'm on vacation until Tuesday and I really didn't want to get upset today. I will weigh-in on Monday - and daily thereafter. I don't really have a plan for how I'm going to take off this weight. Gently and kindly and in a way that is sustainable, not punitive. My biggest challenge is that the bulk of my calories come at night, when I eat dinner with D. Dinner that D has prepared. It would be easier (and healthier, I know) for me to have my calories spread through out the day. But that's not an option right now. So I won't plan on it. Instead - I'm thinking about a 300-400 calorie breakfast that is full of fiber and protein, and then spread out the remaining 400 calories over 2 "snacks." That leaves me with 500-600 calories for dinner. The only way to keep my calories that low for dinner is to measure every morsel of starch and protein that I eat. That will be difficult with some of the dishes D prepares - but I'll do it as much as I possible. Breakfast is easy. I'll have either yogurt with GoLean and blueberries or a smoothie made with coconut "milk," banana and protein powder. I need to come up with easy to prepare and carry to work, balanced snacks. I'll be thinking about that. I downloaded a sample of Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life (Hardcover) by Thich Nhat Hanh - another book about mindful eating. One thing I like, so far, about this book is that it includes not only Buddhist advice, but also advice from a nutritionist. I think my goal is for peace with food, eating and my body. For that to truly be achievable, I must incorporate mindful eating and exercising in my life. Just as I typed that last sentence, I realized that I maintained my weight by brute force which created an incredible amount of stress - and it showed. I've been puzzled - the last two times I've had my hair cut, my stylist ( a gorgeous older Brit who if he wasn't married might make me forget all about D - or at least think about it) has gone on and on about how good I look. More so that usual. This last time he asked what I was doing. I told him I'd gone up 3 dress sizes in 2 years. He said well, "Chubby looks good on you." While on vacation, I thought about it and I think I came up with why he thinks I look good. My face is no longer drawn. When I was keeping my weight down by brute force, the stress of it showed in my face. I looked a bit brittle. I no longer do. That said, I don't feel as healthy as I'd like to feel. I feel a bit sluggish and lethargic. That's from carrying too many lbs and drinking a bit too much alcohol, and not moving enough. Perhaps my goal is no longer to see a lower number on the scale, but to feel vibrant and to choose foods and activities and the thinking that supports feeling vibrant.

No comments:

Post a Comment

This blog is inactive. To visit the current blog, go to inspiredbythecreed dot wordpress dot com. Replace the dots with '.' - this old blog is suddenly attracting spammers, but I'm not yet ready to take it down.