I decided I wanted a new name for my blog. But what? I paused. And decided that was actually a good name. Because that is what I'm doing now in my weight management journey: I'm pausing.
I'm pausing before I eat.
I'm pausing to breathe.
I'm pausing to catch my breath and do a You-Turn. (Thanks, Sandra!)
I'm pausing to reassess my decisions.
I'm pausing to live.
So - A Pause is appropriate.
There's a post on MFD that has me angry. But I am questioning just why am I angry. Part of it is because I think the poster is on her way to a very serious relapse. It seems she has set up a completely impossible maintenance plan. It's a very high maintenance maintenance plan. It's so high maintenance that she seems to need to isolate herself from others to the point of rudeness when food is involved. And she is promoting herself as a weight loss coach. I find that very frightening.
BUT.... is that why I'm really angry? Or am I perhaps a bit jealous? She's lost weight and has maintained that loss for a year. I've been steadily gaining weight. Maybe I, too, need to have some hard and fast, non-negotiable, rules about food. I've been rebelling against restriction these past few months. I've been rebelling against working out. And look where it's gotten me - heavier than I want to be and not feeling so well.
Perhaps it's time that I became high maintenance when it comes to my health. Ugh - I shudder at the thought. I really am a low-maintenance type of gal. But low maintenance can work too.
What doesn't work is not living within the boundaries I know I need to keep.
So - a pause to consider what guidelines I can reestablish that I'm willing to keep - not just to lose weight, but to live.