Saturday, June 19, 2010

Victim Thinking

Yesterday morning, I revisited a list of reasons why I wanted to manage my weight.


I inserted one at the top:


2.  I feel better when I have control over my weight rather than giving it to outside factors


Writing that line reminded me of a conversation D and I had a few months ago.  He suggested to me that I needed to think about why I put myself in a victim role.  At the time I sort of bristled and replied that I had NEVER considered myself a victim.


But when I think about my attitude towards the challenges life has thrown in my weight management path, I realized that I was indulging in victim thinking:


I can't lose weight because of D's cooking
I can't lose weight because I don't have time to prepare my food the way I need it
I can't lose weight because I don't have time to exercise
I can't lose weight because of D's demands on my time
I can't lose weight because there's too much stress in my life


And the excuses go on ad nauseum.  To me, any reason for not being able to lose weight that isn't a true medical condition is simply an excuse.   And when I look at the reasons I've been repeating to myself, I realize I wasn't just making excuses - I was blaming.  Blaming puts me in the victim role.  I don't like that.


Yes, I have challenges to weight management.  We all do.   I'm not special.  When I first started this journey, I had no one in my life that I needed to consider.  D was there - helping me - but my journey didn't really intrude on his life.  Now it does.  And life in general has intruded on my journey.   So I can choose - remove the road blocks and just keep going - be it through, over, under or around the roadblocks.  Or - sulk and gain weight.


I'm not saying there wont be days where I sulk, but I am choosing to keep going.   A fellow MFD'er practices the Yoda diet - "There is no try.  There is only do."   And that is the mindset I am adopting.  No more victim thinking.

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