Yesterday morning, I revisited a list of reasons why I wanted to manage my weight.
I inserted one at the top:
2. I feel better when I have control over my weight rather than giving it to outside factors
Writing that line reminded me of a conversation D and I had a few months ago. He suggested to me that I needed to think about why I put myself in a victim role. At the time I sort of bristled and replied that I had NEVER considered myself a victim.
But when I think about my attitude towards the challenges life has thrown in my weight management path, I realized that I was indulging in victim thinking:
I can't lose weight because of D's cooking
I can't lose weight because I don't have time to prepare my food the way I need it
I can't lose weight because I don't have time to exercise
I can't lose weight because of D's demands on my time
I can't lose weight because there's too much stress in my life
And the excuses go on ad nauseum. To me, any reason for not being able to lose weight that isn't a true medical condition is simply an excuse. And when I look at the reasons I've been repeating to myself, I realize I wasn't just making excuses - I was blaming. Blaming puts me in the victim role. I don't like that.
Yes, I have challenges to weight management. We all do. I'm not special. When I first started this journey, I had no one in my life that I needed to consider. D was there - helping me - but my journey didn't really intrude on his life. Now it does. And life in general has intruded on my journey. So I can choose - remove the road blocks and just keep going - be it through, over, under or around the roadblocks. Or - sulk and gain weight.
I'm not saying there wont be days where I sulk, but I am choosing to keep going. A fellow MFD'er practices the Yoda diet - "There is no try. There is only do." And that is the mindset I am adopting. No more victim thinking.