Gut Wisdom

I'm slowly plodding through Marc David's The Slow Down Diet and one of the exercises was to quiet yourself with some deep breaths and then take an inventory of what foods work.  Not in term of what the nutrition label says - but in terms of how you feel thinking about the foods, eating the foods and after eating the foods.

*@#$ Computer!

I had a nice long blog post just about ready to submit and then somehow managed to delete the entire text and couldn't get it back!

So, here I go again - round 2.   Let's see if I can actually post it this time.

D and I are on the backsides of our colds.  Still some drippy noses, coughs and sneezes, but my head no longer feels like it should explode any second.  I'm thankful!

I read a FREE ebook (Kindle or iBooks) yesterday - How to Lose Weight Without Dieting by David Nordmark.   In terms of the food part, he offered nothing new.  The main point was to lose weight, we have to stop eating when we aren't hungry.  Duh.  But he did offer a new way to look at it:  Look at the wild animal kingdom - how many unnaturally fat animals do you see? I think hippos and rhinos are supposed to be a bit fat, but not lions and tigers and gorillas and monkeys, etc.  Good point.  What do they have in common?  They don't eat if they don't need food.  I am phrasing it a bit differently.  I do think that wild animals may eat more than they need to satiate current hunger, but they eat to store food because they know it may be a few days before they get food again.  They eat to meet that need, not the current hunger.

Keeping On Keeping On - Part 2

One of the reason I wrote about 'keeping on keeping on' last week was because I was talking to myself.  Reminding myself it's a daily thing. Automatic.  It takes time and effort - but so does brushing my teeth or taking a shower and I don't freak about those things.  Or get tired of doing them.  I just do them.  And get on with life.

What I haven't made too public - until today - is that my kinder, gentler approach to weight loss/management is not working.  Based on the numbers, it should be working.  And it's frustrating me to the point of hurdling me into a depression.

I went to the doctor today.  She agrees - I should be returning to my normal weight based on calories and exercise.  She does think my diet needs tweaking (less starch, more green) and I should consider upping my exercise time to 60 minutes a day on most days.  And I must include weight training.  Pilates is not enough.

Blood work was drawn.  A nutritionist was recommended.  And I'm still frustrated.

But - I'm going to go on keeping on.  I'm going to keep on track with my exercise and I'm going to keep on tracking my food intake.  But  - I'm going to up my calories just a bit, to make sure my body has the fuel it needs for the workouts.  

I'm going to try to be patient.  And I was reminded to look at what I have accomplished - I lost almost 70 lbs, and have maintained most of that loss for almost 3 years.  I AM on the right side of the statistics.  And I will keep on keeping on to make sure I stay there.

Getting Lost in the Numbers

I spent the morning logging my dinner from last night: 1/2 of a filet mignon browned in a little bit of butter and then finished off in the oven, lyonnaise potatoes (sliced potatoes, dotted with a little bit of butter, thin strips of sweet onion and unsalted beef stock, baked to crispy yumminess), salad with homemade dressing, wine, bread, butter.  My first estimate came up to be well over 1000 calories.  WHAT?  No way.  My partner agreed.  We started looking at my estimates.  "No, I didn't put but about 1 TBSP of butter in the potatoes"  "No, you steak was only about 4oz"  "No, you did not eat 1 1/2 TBSP of butter."   With some adjustments to my overestimating, I did get my meal down to under 1000 calories, barely.    

Then I made the comment to my partner "I'm not THAT worried about it, I did exercise and burned off about 300 calories."  He remarked "you're not taking into account your BMR, nor all the activity you had yesterday.  Bring up the firewood probably burned 300 calories."   I'm not sure about that.  I was figuring maybe 150 tops.

What I am sure about though, is that I'm basing all my numbers on estimates.  I estimate my calories burned.  It's an informed estimate  - I use a heart rate monitor.  I estimate the calories I consume.  Again  - informed estimates.  I weigh  most of my foods and I use MyFoodDiary or NutritionData to get the caloric contents.  I estimate the amount of calories I need to net out each day to lose weight.  Again - informed through  MyFoodDiary.com.    But all the numbers are estimates.

I could go to my doctor and spend lots of money getting tests done to more scientifically determine my basal metabolic rate.  It would still be an estimate.   I could spend tons of money sending off samples of my yogurt to a food lab to get accurate nutritional information on my recipe.  But I don't need to.  Nor do I want to.  I don't want to go through life obsessed with numbers.  It's much easier to aim for the guidelines.  They work well enough.

Please don't misunderstand.  I think it's incredibly important to know what 3 oz of chicken looks like on your plate.  To do that, you need to weigh your portions of chicken (or beef or pork, etc) for quite some time.  Then you can start eyeballing it.  But sometimes,  just to stay honest, you need to weigh it.   Same thing with a half  a cup or rice or a TBSP of butter.  

It's also important to know how much (using highly informed estimates) you eat each day.  I don't mean to get lost in how much fat, carb or protein.  I mean, did I eat 2000 calories or a reasonable 1500 calories?   And did I eat healthfully or did I gorge on sugar, carbs and fat?  

Exercise - I don't worry so much about how much I burn any more.  When I did that, I played mind games to justify poor eating choices.  Now, I just exercise and track that I did it.  I do wear a HRM so I can keep an eye on my heart rate to make sure I'm exercising at the right intensity.  But I don't add calories to my daily allowance when I exercise.  

So, yes - I know my numbers (estimates) but I don't get lost in them.  Makes life a bit more simple.

Look for Ideas

I think many of us get stuck in the same old thinking rut and tell ourselves 

"I don't have time."

"It will take too long"

"It's too expensive"

I just ran across another NY Times article by Mark Bittman that give some great inexpensive ways to incorporate REAL FOOD into your daily lives without adding a great deal of time or expense.  Fresh Start for a New Year? Let’s Begin in the Kitchen

I'm sending this article to my partner - the savoy cabbage with sherry vinegar sounds great!

Getting Ready

Judith Beck (The Beck Diet Solution) advocates getting the mind ready for a weight loss program.  Her book offers a series of daily exercises to practice - and the first week is all about getting the mind ready.

I'm not willing to follow the structure of Beck's program (yet), but I am willing to take some ideas she has and put them to use in my own program - which is more aligned with Martha Beck's The Four Day Win.

I'm also willing to use Dr. Amanda Sainsbury-Salis's  approach to identifying hunger and satiety levels before and after eating.

One of Judith Beck's exercises is to identify all the reasons you want to lose weight and write those down and review them several times a day.  One of Sainsbury-Salis's approaches is to give yourself a pause before & eating to assess your hunger and satiety levels.  She also takes it further by suggesting you ask yourself questions about your food choices:  

1.   How will this feel as I eat it?

2.   How will this food feel as soon as I've finished eating it?

3.   How will this food feel in my stomach an hour after I've finished eating?

4.   How will this food feel in my stomach 2-3 hours after I've finished eating?

Martha  Beck's approach is to set a goal, simplify the goal until it is almost impossible to not do it and the do it for 4 days.  Reset, go.

What I'm finding is that I start my days with good intentions to assess my hunger levels and ask the 'how will this feel' questions.  But I forget to do it.  Here's where Judith Beck comes into play.  She's big on fixing the forgetting to do it part by keeping the reasons in front of you.  What I'm going to do is keep the questions in front of me.  Or at least in front of my food.  I pack my breakfast and lunch every day.  I'm going to include a card with those questions written on it each day. A card for each meal and I'm going to write the answers down on the card.  And the post my results on the weight management site I use - MyFoodDiary.com

And I'm going to set this as a 4-Day Win, a la Martha Beck.

I think I'm taking the best of the three top 'diet' advisors out there and combining some of their solutions to make my own plan to address my own shortcomings.   

I also believe in accountability.  I haven't been posting here on a regular basis for some time.  I'm looking at how I can improve that.  

Some answers

I posted my success on MyFoodDiary.com recently and questions were asked about my journey and how difficult I found the transition to food and maintaining my weight. Thought I'd share my answers here....

First, about OPTIFAST - it is a nutritionally sound, restricted calorie, medically supervised diet. There were times it seemed difficult to stick to diet, but I decided I would not have anything that was not approved. Sugar-free gum was approved and I chewed a lot of it! At the time, I lived alone, so I emptied my kitchen of all food. I had no temptations. I think I was fortunate that I was able to do that. The result was a fairly rapid weight loss and to be honest, my mind just didn't keep up with my body, which played an huge factor in my transition to food and maintaining.

I remember the first restaurant meal I ordered after I was back on food. We were in a Mexican restaurant and I found a grilled chicken dish served with veggies on the side on the menu. It seemed like the healthiest choice for me so I ordered it. I almost started crying with the waiter brought my meal to me. The plate was at least 15" in diameter and completely covered. The chicken breast was HUGE and the veggies dripping in cheese sauce. I was overwhelmed. That is when I learned (and think I need to relearn) that it is OK to leave food on your plate. Wow - I get a bit emotional now just remembering that moment.

That moment is so poignant because the tears were from fear. Previous to OPTIFAST, my track record with maintaining weight loss was abysmal and I was petrified I was going to gain the weight back. This is where I have a criticism of Emory's program - each of the transitioning participants should receive at least 2 one-on-one sessions with the in-house psychologist. I was so afraid I got entirely too stressed out about it and even threw-up on the way home from work one day. It was hard. That's when I found MFD and another site - MasteringFood.com (it's since changed it's name, but I don't remember the new name). MFD was great for the support and I got some incredible advice from Mastering Food:

SLOW DOWN. BREATHE. Take some time to fully acknowledge what you have already accomplished. Give yourself credit for this. The rest will come in time.

Part of my fear and refusal to accept what I had accomplished was because I had not reached my goal. I had wanted to reach my goal while on OPTIFAST and I was beating myself up for failing. Yes, I did not consider my weight loss a success. And even now, 2 years later, there is part of me that still does not accept my accomplishment because I haven't finished - I haven't reached my goal.

What other things have I dealt with? Accepting that I am an attractive person - realizing the face in the mirror was mine. That has been difficult for so many different reasons, but I'm getting there. And yes, I still get surprised some times now when I look in the mirror. And yes, I do still struggle with body size perception.

The external responses to my weight loss have been varied and some have caused some resentment: getting promoted at work only AFTER I lost the weight. Now that may have just been a timing thing, but.... Male senior managers at work began to greet me in the hallway with a smile and saying "Hello, Maura," Before, they would simply not even see me. I think those are two things that just really got up my a$$ some - but only some. It's not worth it to stay resentful over someone else's problem. Most of the other responses have all been incredibly positive.

I think the biggest difference, though, is how I feel about myself and my outlook on life. I still struggle with depression sometimes, but it's much easier to catch when I start spiraling and is MUCH easier to avoid in the first place. I am more confident. Some of my friends remarked that I'm more approachable and more open.

I won't lie and say that maintenance is a piece of cake. Its not. In fact, it is MUCH MUCH MUCH harder than OPTIFAST. And I so admire the people on MFD who have achieved their weight loss without the luxury of having food and food choices removed.

I've been asked how I did it and how I maintain the loss. The short answer is SHEER DETERMINATION and STUBBORNESS. But that answer goes a long way. I made up my mind I was going to do this and once I make up my mind, I can be like a brick wall. I use my stubbornness to my advantage here.

The long answer is that I had to get my head in the right place about my health. And that is the number one piece of advice I give to everyone. Any diet (please make it a sound diet) will work if your head is in the right place. If your head isn't in the right place then the weight will come right back.

More advice - build a weight management toolbox and use the tools DAILY. My toolbox contains: my will, MFD, Nutritiondata.com, Flylady.net, Worlds Healthiest Foods (whfoods.com), Goals & Challenges, Water, my support network, Exercise, Heart Rate Monitor, Scales, Food scale and measuring cups/spoons