Week 2 update for Ten in Ten

I guess the biggest update is that I left the group.  What I thought was a thoughtful response to the criticism I received for my decision resulted in numbers being thrown at me.  I don't have time for that kind of crap and I was quite disappointed that was what was offered.

I know my life and what I can do and I'm sticking to that.

So - I'm on my own and I'll post my own challenges and updates here.  Why not?

So the check in is not as good as last week's:  I'm up .8 lb - 178.8.

This week's goals:

• Consume less alcohol at night - ie, skipping the evening cocktail until Wednesday (our mid week "date night")
• Log my food and hunger levels.  
• Stay hydrated
• Remember to breathe when the stress hits.

That's it for now.

Decisions

I made a decision about exercise this week and posted it to the Ten in Ten group.  The decision is that I'm no longer going to stress about how I'm going to fit it in.  When I can, I will.

This decision raised concerns  - that were very kindly expressed - that I was practicing self-sabotage.  I've been thinking about that for a few days here's my response:

My decision to not make a commitment to exercise was the result of the stress I was feeling whenever I would set an exercise schedule and almost invariably, I got stuck at work or in traffic and didn't get home in time to get my workout in.  Right now, I don't have an answer to this road block so instead of continuing to keep adding that stress, I'm simply removing it.

Thru my experience with weight loss, and maintenance and then gaining, I've come to the conclusion that exercise should never be made critical to weight loss and maintenance.  Life throws crap at you at times (illness, injury, work, etc) that prevents consistent exercise.  This is not ideal, of course, but it happens.  And when exercise is critical to weight management and that crap happens, then losing or maintaining becomes almost impossible.  

Instead weight management really is about healthy choices about what to eat and how much to eat.  That, no matter what life throws at you can be more consistently practiced.

I'm not saying that exercise is not critical to overall good physical and mental health. It is.  And when I can, I will exercise.  I'll even, when I can, shift things so that I can get some extra movement in.  I'm just no longer going to stress about it.

Today's exercise:  over an hour of Kundalini yoga.  And OMG - I had not idea how breathing a certain way can raise the heart rate.  I'm half way tempted to wear my heart rate monitor the next time I do the practice just to see how the much my heart rate did get elevated.  There was definitely a "cardio" aspect to the practice, even though it was very gentle and slow.

I'm not giving up on me - just taking a slightly different approach than I have in the past because what I did in the past is no longer working

I truly appreciate the comments - they made me think about what I'm doing.  And that is always a good thing.

Consistency & Retuning

I see myself following the same old patterns - doing well and then forgetting.   The past few days I've felt bloated and heavy.  Not as light as I had been feeling.  But I'm aware - and retuning* to asking the important question "is this going to make me feel heavy or is this going to make me feel light?"

* I meant to type returning but I actually like retuning.  All musical instruments need to be tuned and retuned and in my case - so does my mind.   And I can retune without guilt.

I got up and worked out this morning - first time in a while.  And for the first time in well over a year, I wore my heart rate monitor.  I had a goal for wearing it - I wanted to make sure I didn't push myself too hard.  I used to push hard and harder and even harder - looking for the calorie burn.  I know for a fact that my completely giving up exercise and healthy movement is a backlash from abusing my body that way.  So, I did get above range a few times - used that as a cue to retune (gees, I love this analogy) and reduce my intensity.  The result - I have an average heart rate of 139 bpm for 58 minutes.  And I don't feel wiped out and icky.

I'm still working on Noaa's blanket - it's really quite easy now that I'm getting the hang of it. I've never picked up stitches before - and I know it's not perfect.  But Noaa is not going to care.

And I'm reading The Writing Circle by Corinne Demas and the complex characters have definitely intrigued me.  So much that I'm about to sign off writing here and pick up the iPad to return to reading.

But before I do - does anyone have any suggestions for cooking swiss chard?  I have the recipe for my first ever tasting of this beautiful green.  I am hoping I love it for it's taste as much as I do for it's color - and if I do, then I think I shall be wanting to cook it quite often.